


Make Sense of Me

by hawkfurze



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Coffee Shop, Gen, Ill figure out how to properly tag stuff eventually, Transphobia, this is a friendship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 02:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17716100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkfurze/pseuds/hawkfurze
Summary: John Seed has been a thorn in Anna May’s side since Eden’s Gate began to take over Hope County, but things have not always been like that between them.





	Make Sense of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve always wanted to write about Anna May and John’s friendship but never actually got around to make comics about it like I originally intended, instead, I decided to make a mega fan fic about it instead. 
> 
> I will say though, I do reference from The Book of Joseph and Far Cry Absolution a lot, so if you havn’t read those yet then I suggest you do before reading this, unless you don’t care at all for spoilers or things like that.
> 
> I also included a bunch of friends OCs, including malpiss-legates Dolly, mademoisellegush’s Dahlia, radiojamming’s Cody, And lesbianjasonvorhees Jenna! They all write really good stuff to and can be found on tumblr!

“Why are we going to an Eden’s Gate gathering again?” Anna May asked, watching the countryside pass by as her and Sheriff Whitehorse continued on to the Picnic grounds. The Sheriff was driving, Anna May couldn’t help but feel so out of place in the police car, she’s barely out of the academy and isn’t even what people would call a real police officer, just some new security hired to guard animals down at the local zoo, if the FANG center could even be called that. 

“You’re new in town and, I know you’re not a police officer, at least yet, but I think it would be best if you got yourself familiar with these folks at some point. No doubt you had seen them around?”

“A bit, Yeah,” Anna May said. She’s barely been in Hope County for two months but she’s already seen these “Peggie’s” people talked about.

The Project at Eden’s Gate is what they called themselves, a religious group run by one man and his three siblings. Anna May knew a little about them before moving to Hope County, but they were talked about so little, Anna May never paid much attention to whatever the news reporters felt was worth mentioning that day, at least, until she was living with them as her neighbors.

“And they’ll be fine with…?”

“You’re not the first stranger they’ve ran into,” Whitehorse said, giving Anna May a knowing wink. She gave a small sigh and went back to looking out the window, already having a small pit of fear growing inside her stomach.

They soon arrived to a large party. Immediately, Anna May noticed the Peggie’s among the small crowd of people. They looked ungroomed, the men all had long, wild beards, and the women’s hair just so. They all wore dirty white clothes, each stamped with that strange cross like symbol. Anna May couldn’t really imagine how these people lived to look like that, but they all seemed really happy. Peggie and resident alike all mingled, chatting among each other as they eat, drink, and laugh.

But even with the warmness of it all, Anna May still felt so out of place.

“Welcome to a Peggie party,” Whitehorse said.

“Uh-where do I-“ Anna May began to ask.

“Sheriff!” A voice called out. It belonged to a handsome man in blue, wearing an opened black vest. Beside him, a beautiful tall, blond woman wearing a dress covered with flowers, stood there giving Whitehorse a kind smile.

“Make some friends, mingle, just have fun,” Whitehorse said to Anna May as he made his way to the two people. Anna May watched him go, slowly becoming panicked.

Mingle? She can barely talk to people at a register, never mind talking to a couple hundred strangers who, for all she knows, could be making fun of her right now.

Not liking the feeling of eyes on her, Anna May started to move, making her way around chatting folks and running kids, before she found herself at a table covered with food. Her nerves were too short to eat, however, and so she stood, looking around feeling ever so increasingly awkward.

This is so stupid! There’s so many people here, it shouldn’t be hard for her to find anyone and to blend in with those around her. She could mingle, right? Anna May continued to fight her own thoughts, back and forth, like a game of tug of war. Should she go talk to strangers? Should she hid under this table until Whitehorse is ready to go? Should she call a taxi home?

It took Anna May about 20 minutes to finally win her own argument. Taking a plate, she grabbed some spoonfuls of some almost untouched potato salad and started wandering through the crowds of people, looking for a possible new friend. She soon spotted another loner, a tall, scarred man with bright red hair and a large beard. He was dressed in an army jacket, a patch on the side read 82 Airborne. Anna May didn’t really know what that meant, but it didn’t even matter. The man was alone, maybe he was just as awkward at these things as she was, and if that was the case, she’ll certainly have no trouble making friends with someone who felt and looked as out of place as she did.

Anna May scooted on next to him and gave him her most cheerful smile. The man looked down at her with cold, blue eyes, his face not changing in the slightest.

“Uhm- Uh, Hello!” Anna May started, “I’m new in town! In Hope County! My name is, uhm, Anna May?” This man was starting to give her the creeps, does he even know how to take his face off that neutral, scary expression? Anna May tried a different approach.

“So this Eden’s Gate, huh? It looks like they throw a fun party! I haven’t been to a barbecue before, but uh…”

No dice. The man raised an eyebrow at her, showing that he was listening, but she was really really starting to regret talking to this man. Didn’t he ever blink? No wonder no one was talking to him.

Anna May figured she could try taking a bite out of the food she grabbed to break the awkwardness. She took a forkful of the salad and put it in her mouth, then immediately began to gag at the taste of the awful potato and mustard mixture. Too much mayonnaise, lots of onions, Someone clearly doesn’t know how to balance their ingredients.

Anna May spit the food on the ground, still being watched by the red haired man.

“Wow! That was the grossest salad I ever had, no wonder it was untouched, I feel a little bad for whoever made it-“

“I made it.”

Anna May felt her face burn as the man finally spoke his first words to her. Oh God, Oh no.

He was smiling now, but there was no warmth behind it, it was just there, to mock her, she could tell. Anna May wasn’t hungry anymore.

“I need to go…” Anna May hurried away from the tall man, looking down at the gross concoction as she walked. Stupid! Stupid! She felt tears well up in her eyes, but before any of them had a chance to fall,she ran into something, or, well, someone.

“Oh noooooo…” 

The man looked at her, blinking a couple times in confusion before he looked down at the potato salad now slathered on the front of his shirt.

“I am- so sorry!” Anna May exclaimed, and she hurried off to the side, back to the table, and grabbed some napkins. The man followed after her.

“It is alright, my child. Don’t fret-“

Anna May shoved napkins at his chest and he began to wipe the mess off, leaving a bright yellow stain on parts of the white shirt he wore under his vest.

“I didn’t ruin it, did I?” She squeaked. The man placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You are fine,” The man insisted. No she wasn’t, she was now doubly embarrassed! First she tells one man his food is shit to his face, now she spilled said shit food on another man. They both hated her, she hated her, she-

“Do you want to sit down?” The man asked, gently. Anna May realized her eyes were filling with tears again and she quickly rubbed her them, wiping the tears away.

“No, no I’m good,” she said.

“I saw that you met my brother?” He said, “The tall one, with red hair,” he elaborated.

“Oh yes, him,” Anna May said, feeling more embarrassed now.

“You must not be from Hope County,” The man said. Anna May shook her head no. “My name is Joseph Seed. The man you met earlier is my older brother, Jacob,” he said.

Joseph? Joseph Seed? Where did she hear that name before. It was important, but she didn’t remember why. She pondered this as Whitehorse approached the two of them.

“Sheriff Whitehorse.”

“Father.”

Of course, this was that Joseph Seed! Oh no, this was Joseph Seed, the man who started Eden’s Gate in the first place, the one everyone refers to as “the Father.”

And Anna May spilled gross potato salad all over him the first time she met him.

She was ready to sink into a hole in the ground, but it looks like Joseph and Whitehorse wouldn’t let her as he arrived with the two people from before following closely behind.

“Looks like you had quite a spill,” Whitehorse said, looking at Joseph’s dirty shirt.

“Only an accident,” Joseph said. Anna May started to slowly step away from the group.

“I saw you met Anna May?” Whitehorse said. Anna May realized she still had the plate she dumped on Joseph in her hands and quickly hid it behind her back.

“We ran into each other,” Joseph said, “So, Anna May, when did you move here?”

Anna May didn’t like that the whole group’s eyes were on her. “I just moved here a few weeks ago…”

The man with the blue shirt was watching her intently, and he wasn’t the only one, everyone else was watching her, waiting to hear more. Anna May didn’t like it at all, in fact, she really hated the feeling of being in the spotlight. She wished she could go home.

She sighed a little, with relief, when Joseph went back to talking to the Sheriff. Anna May excused herself to go throw out that plate and hurried off, locating a trash can. Maybe she could stay in here for the rest of the barbecue?

But before Anna May could decide to act on such an impulsive thought, Whitehorse had appeared, thankfully, without Joseph or the two other strangers.

“Let’s leave,” Whitehorse said. Anna May didn’t need another excuse.

“Who were those other people you were talking to?” Anna May asked curiously as they got into the car.

“John and Faith Seed, Joseph Seeds youngest siblings,” Whitehorse said. Of course, Joseph was probably telling them both how much of a fool she made of herself, just wait until Jacob told them what she said about his cooking. 

“So, you met the Father. What did you think of him?”

Oh!” Anna May exclaimed, “We, Uh, really didn’t talk that much. I only had just ran into him when you found me. Yeah.”

“Strange individual, isn’t he? But the man is trying to do well.”

“I guess.”

Whitehorse was silent for a moment and didn’t speak again until they were a ways away from the barbecue.

“Be careful around them, the whole Project,” Whitehorse said, “they seem like good people, but their influence, something seems off about it. Best to not get involved with them if you can, so long as they’re not causing trouble.”

With any luck she wouldn’t have to see any of them again. Anna May doesn’t even want to hear what kind of conversation Joseph could be having with his siblings about her right now, thinking about it made her more miserable.

Anna May sighed. Welcome to Hope County, she thought, not looking forward to the next time she ends up making a fool of herself in front of the Seed family.

 

——————

The sun rose over the distant mountains, slowly waking up the small town of Falls End. Anna May watched it rise from a cafe’s window, sipping her coffee as she waited for the time where she normally made her way from the small shop to work. 

The cafe was a local attraction, small, well kept, with a dark but warm interior. It was fun mostly by the usual same 3 baristas, Anna May never saw anyone else by the counter. The cafe had a large window that opened up to a nice view of the street outside and to the distant mountains. Anna May always sat by this window, as she enjoyed watching the night turn into day.

Anna May hasn’t been living in Hope County long, but she was slowly growing to love the place. When she first got her security job at the FANG center, she didn’t really think much was going to change when it came to her previous situation back home, a few counties away, but things have lightened up more than she could imagine. She went from being disowned, homeless, living in her car as she tried to finish her training at the police academy, to graduating, now having a nice apartment, complete with a new room mate, and co-workers who were more than accepting to Anna May’s arrival.

Anna May shifted in her chair and saw, across the street, the lights for the Spread Eagle turn on. She’ll have to leave soon, the center was going to open in about an hour, and Anna May always liked to arrive early to work.

The door to the cafe opened, the bell making a small ringing sound as it announced the arrival of its newest customer. One of the baristas behind the counter gave a small gasp and shuffled about, a couple moving off to the side to talk quietly to themselves as the third gave a shaky greeting to the newcomer. Anna May curiously looked at the man.

He was dressed in a blue shirt, black jeans, and a vest and stood at the counter, engaging in a friendly discussion with the barista. The two other employees behind her stopped their gossiping and quickly went back to work, pretending they haven’t been talking at all. Something about the man seemed really familiar, but Anna May couldn’t place a finger on why. 

Anna May was just getting up to leave when the man suddenly turned to her and held out a hand, surprising Anna May, as the baristas rushed off to prepare the man’s order.

“It’s nice to see you again,” he said. Anna May saw both of his arms were covered in many strange tattoos.

“Again?” She asked, confused, shaking the man’s hand. 

“The barbecue, with the Project,” he reminded her.

“You’re John Seed,” She said, remembering when he greeted Whitehorse at the barbecue weeks ago.

“The only one.”

Anna May really didn’t needed to be reminded of that disaster, her own awkwardness and mishaps, they must be down in Peggie legend right now, who knows what these people thought about her, insulting two of the groups most prominent figures like that. No one could of been more embarrassed from any of it then Anna May, who had locked herself in her room and cried the rest of the day after Whitehorse dropped her off.

And now, Here was John, the one Seed, besides their little sister that Anna May heard about, who she hasn’t made a fool of herself in front of yet. Anna May could feel herself blushing in embarrassment, who knows what Joseph or Jacob we’re saying about her behind her back.

“I saw you briefly, but I got distracted with talking to the sheriff,” he said, pulling his hand away, “I would of loved to have talked to you too, but you left so soon.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” Anna May said. She wasn’t really sure what else to say and hoped that John wasn’t feeling as awkward as she was.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, a little too loudly. Way to sound rude, dumbass, she thought, and flinched. John blinked slowly, surprised.

“I wanted to get myself a coffee,” he said, but judging from the barista’s reactions earlier, Anna May was pretty sure that John has not, or rarely, stepped foot in this cafe.

“I’m sorry-“ she began, but he held up a hand.

“There’s nothing to apologize about,” he said, Anna May almost opening her mouth again to apologize once more before she stopped.

“The sheriff told me you were new to Hope County,” John continued.

“Yeah, I moved here almost 2 months ago.”

“And how old are you?” He asked.

“I’m 20,” Anna May said.

“Kind of ambitious to be living on your own that young.”

“I have a roommate, she’s really nice,” Anna May said. 

The barista had finished making John’s coffee and handed it to him over the counter. John took it and, after taking a sip, gave Anna May a nod.

“Well, It was nice to meet you….?”

“My name is Anna May, Anna May Shawn.”

“It was nice to meet you, Anna May,” John said.

“It was nice to meet you too, Mr.Seed.”

“Call me John,” he said, and he walked out the door. Anna May watched him walk away until one of the barista’s voices made her jump.

“How do you know John Seed?” She asked. 

“I don’t really know him,” Anna May said. That was true, she knew nothing about the man, and very little else of his siblings. The barista gave her a weird look before she walked away.

Anna May looked at the time and felt a little shock, she only had half an hour to get to work!

Anna May ran out the door and got into her car, driving out of Falls End and towards the Whitetails.

—————

 

It was a chilly morning. Anna May shivered as she stepped out of her car. Fall has barely arrived and soon it’ll be winter. Anna May loved the snow, especially when it just has fallen. The world looked so magical when it did, she figured that she’ll go sledding when it does snow. She’s never tried it before, but maybe Dolly knows how to. Would Dolly even own a sled?

Anna May was wrapped up in her own questions, she ordered her coffee and stopped when she noticed who was sitting in her usual spot.

“Hello, Anna May! I didn’t expect to see you here again. Want to sit down?” John asked. 

“Um, sure,” Anna May said, and she sat down in the seat across from him.

“How is your day?”

“It’s good. I was just getting coffee, going to work…”

“Where do you work?” John asked.

“The FANG center, I help out with security there,” Anna May replied. John nodded.

“So that’s why you know the Sheriff. I thought you may have been a new police officer.”

“Oh no, not yet, but maybe someday.”

Anna May looked out the window, fidgeting a little bit. John had gone to staring out the window, drinking his drink.

“So, uh, what is it that you do, John?” Anna May finally said, breaking the silence.

“What I do?”

“In your brothers group?”

John gave her an odd look before he began to talk.

“I take care of any legal issues we may come across during our preparations,” John explained, “I like to get to know the police around here, as I feel it is very important to have some kind of friendship with the local law enforcement, if ever in the event we may meet each other in court, I don’t like possible misunderstandings to happen.”

So he wasn’t stalking her. That was a relief, though Anna May wasn’t really sure why he would want to follow her around, unless he was angry that she dumped food on one of his brothers while calling his other ones cooking awful. Great, new fear.

John seemed to have read her mind cause he shook his head.

“You didn’t have a fun time at our last gathering,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

“No. I made a huge fool of myself,” and Anna May gave a forced laugh that John didn’t join in on.

“Joseph and Jacob told me what happened,” John explained, looking at Anna May sympathetically, “Don’t worry about Jacob, he knows he’s not a good cook, but it was his turn to bring something.”

“You guys make the food yourselves?”

“No, everyone pitches in and those who are interested in the Project also sometimes bring food, but Joseph felt it would be polite for us to bring something as well and so me and my siblings take turns. Faith’s cooking is decent, but I think I prefer Jacob’s meals over Joseph’s. My brother has a special macaroni recipe that has, sadly, grown infamous among the locals.”

Anna May snorted, trying to quickly stop her giggles, but John didn’t look mad at all.

“Didn’t mean to laugh at your brother,” she apologized, sheepishly.

“I’m happy you found it funny,” John said, “I was starting to feel like my presence was making you uncomfortable.”

“It was-Wait no! I didn’t mean it like that!,” Anna May struggled to find words, “I just, was thrown off by how straight forward you are and kinda thought you hated me. I don't have many friends, here or outside of Hope County, talking to people is awkward.”

“Someone with your personality? I would of thought you have a lot of people fawning over you!”

“No no,”Anna May exclaimed, “it’s embarrassing trying to talk to me.”

“Well, if it means anything to you, I’m having fun right now,” John said, “I love the members of the flock, but sometimes it’s nice to talk to new people, people who don’t understand us just yet. How much do you know about the Project?”

“Just that you’ve been in Hope County for a couple years. I saw your caravan on the news a couple times, years ago,” Anna May said. Her parents kept the news on often, never really changing the channel to watch anything else. Eden’s Gate has caravanned from some location in Georgia to Hope County years ago. Many people on their route joined them until they stopped here. Anna May had never paid attention much to the story after that.

“You also think the world is going to end and are trying to prepare for it,” Anna May continued.

“The world is going to end,” John said.

“How do you know?”

“My brother was told by the Voice,” he continued. Anna May stared at him blankly.

“A Voice came to my brother, when he was a young boy,” John explained, “it told him that he was Chosen, Chosen to lead those who we, his family, choose to survive the Collapse. So Joseph started the Project and we, me and Jacob, help him find those who deserve salvation.”

“So your brother had a vision and now you came to Montana to prepare for the end of the world?” 

“Yes.”

Anna May couldn’t decide if John was bullshitting her or that Joseph was bullshitting a whole group of people and dragged his siblings into it, hell, she wasn’t even sure if she even believed in God. She couldn’t really if it was the same God her parents told her was going to let her burn in hell. Maybe this Collapse was what they were talking about, some righteous fire someones holy figure has decided to bring upon the world. She highly doubted it, otherwise, she may have founded herself uprooted with the rest of her family and moved here before Anna May had even graduated high school, if her family was ever interested in the idea of becoming a peggie.

But John gave no sign of this being a joke. He sat, solumned face, waiting for Anna May’s response. He really does believe in his brothers mission, she realized. Anna May wondered if he knew people called Eden’s Gate a cult.

“That’s a lot,” she finally said, “How do you deal with it? If I was told I had to save people from the end of the world, well, I think I’d just hide and cry. It seems too much.”

“I make do,” John said, “you know, you could always join us, we’re always looking for more people to join the Project.”

“Oh I couldn’t, really,” Anna May said, “Religion isn’t really kind to me, but it’s nice to have someone to believe in, someone to give you hope, right?”

John’s smile twitched, but stayed in place.

“You’re absolutely right. Well, it is your decision, I won’t force you to join us,” he said. Anna May thought he sounded a little colder, but it must of been her imagination, for his face seemed to light up.

“You know, I quite like this place,” he said, “I was never a coffee drinker myself but I may have to come by more often,” he finished his drink and stood up, tossing the disposable cup into a nearby bin, “Until we meet again,” he said, before turning and leaving the cafe.

That was odd, Anna May thought. John Seed was really strange, nice, but something seemed off about him. Anna May couldn’t place it, but maybe it was her own paranoia getting to her, I mean, she thought he was purposely stalking her just earlier. She’s just reading too far into things, stupid brain.

Anna May finished her own drink before she left the store. Behind the counters, the baristas glanced back out the window to make sure Anna May was gone before they huddled among themselves, talking about what they saw.

————

“What on Earth did you do to that car?”

Anna May grinned as she opened the door, the look on John’s face made her want to laugh. He was waiting for her to drive up to his ranch, what he didn’t know is what she was taking to get there. He looked like someone had driven by and spit on him.

“It’s so hideous!” He said.

“It distracts everyone from the driver,” Anna May said, making John frown more, “I’ll be getting it painted soon.

“There’s no need to talk about yourself like that,” he said quietly, but he shook his head sadly at the car.

Anna May couldn’t see the big deal about her car. Yeah, it looked like a mess, but at least it looked like an AWESOME mess. Anna May had traded her old car in, some rust bucket she had saved money for in her years in high school, and finally sold it, using the money she made from that as well as what she was already saving to get herself a new baby, a 1996 Corolla, but not just any old Corolla. Whoever owned this car had the whole interior redone and replacing everything on the inside with black padding. She had thought it was strange at first, until she turned the car on and the whole thing lit up like a Christmas light show. It had so many neon lights, Anna May was sure it qualified as its own stop light. Needless to say, Anna May needed that car, so she bought it, and now wants to give the car the beautiful makeover it deserves.

“I want to keep the lights but the exterior is so bad,” Anna May started, “They said it was an unfinished project, the car was dropped off with a note saying that it wasn’t needed anymore. Really unfortunate because it runs like a beauty, but I got a sweet deal on it because nobody wanted to buy it how it is, but I love Cynthia.”

“You named the car Cynthia?”

“Yeah. It fits.”

“I guess so,” John said, clearly not seeing it at all.

“Don’t you have a car you named?”

“A plane, Affirmation, but that’s different, you’re suppose to name planes!”

“I think that only applies to boats, dude,” Anna May said, ignoring John’s small bitter “but Nick Rye named his plane.”

The two stepped into John’s Ranch. It was much warmer inside than outside, now that winter has finally hit Hope County full. It hasn’t snowed, yet, but Anna May was counting on it.

Just like the weather, Anna May and John’s relationship has changed too. After their second meeting, Anna May would of through the man lost interest in her, as most people would of she figured, instead, she found herself arriving days later to the cafe, and was surprised to see him there at her spot and waving her over again. Soon, she realized that she may have just made a new friend.

And so they chatted 2, maybe 3, days a week, usually John getting to the cafe and saving their spot before Anna May arrived. John asked Anna May about her job, her room mate, her hometown, and such, the usual small talk and getting to know yous, and he told Anna May more about Eden’s Gate and his siblings.

John seemed rather fond of his siblings and talked about them often. It made Anna May think of her own two brothers, Axel-Ray and Crusty, who she had to leave with her parents. She hasn’t seen them since she left and missed them terribly, but they still managed to keep some contact, keeping the fact that they still talk to their older sister a secret from their parents.

She listened to John as he talked about his sweet his little sister, Faith, was, about the strength and fearlessness of his oldest brother, Jacob, and the kindness and love that Joseph has for his family and the other members of the Project. He loves his siblings, but only ever talked about them and little about himself. Maybe he saw himself as a boring person, but it would be so out of character for him, Anna May thought, he always sounded and acted confident, as if he’s already planned how every interaction with each person she’s seen around him is going to go.

He did tell Anna May about how Eden’s Gate started, however, down at some law firm in Georgia when Joseph found John after the three brothers were separated for years. He never elaborated why they were seperated in the first place, but Anna May never asked anything about it. When they found Jacob, they moved up to Hope County, and started their work to save lives. He went more in depth with Eden’s Gates beliefs, talked about their rules and practices. Some of it sounded strange to Anna May while a lot of it just sounded a lot like what the pastor use to preach at church when she use to go to.

John has invited her to his home a couple weeks after that first day and told her that he could show her around. Anna May wasn’t keen on it at first, but after hearing the whispering from the baristas, who have become more and more apparently nosey to Anna May and John’s talks, she decided why not, people are going to talk anyway. She arrived to see Peggie’s milling about. She wasn’t exactly sure why they were there, but they seemed friendly enough, giving Anna May a wave and a cheerful greeting. John had come outside, happy to see her, and they spent the day exploring the acres he had bought and built his home on, including the hanger and runway where he kept his planes. 

And now she was here again, mainly because she wanted to show him her new car, but also because John asked her to come up whenever she wanted, so long as she called ahead of time, of course.

“Seems silly to only speak here,” he said, making Anna May laugh.

“You could always come over to my place, you can finally meet Dolly,” she had replied.

That’s for another day though. Anna May was led off down the hall and soon they were in John’s hanger. Affirmation blended in well in the dimly lit room as John looked around before pulling a nearby heavy trench coat on and tossed Anna May a pair of goggles.

“I got another plane we will be taking on the other side of Affirmation,” he said, making Anna May freeze.

“Wait, we’re flying!?” She practically yelled, her voices echoed a couple times making it sound like a bunch of her was speaking at once.

“Yes. You told me you were scared of heights,” John said.

“Yeah! That means we don’t get on planes! Why do you think I drive everywhere, John?”

“Because of the lack of airfields,” he joked, “I’m not making you fly, I’ll be doing the flying for you.”

“Yes, but why?” Anna May asked. 

“Have you ever heard of exposure therapy? You take something that scares you, say spiders or snakes if you’re scared of those, and you purposely expose yourself to them in order to break that fear,” John gave Anna May a large grin, “and seeing Hope County from above, you’ll finally understand why my brother had chosen this place to be our home.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Anna May asked.

“No, you don’t,” he said. He went over to the hanger doors and began to open them.

No she did not like this at all. What kind of person takes someone they barely know and decides to get them over their fears? This was just downright crazy. And yet…

Anna May sighed and pulled the goggles on, covering her eyes.

“I never rode in a plane before,” she said quietly.

“Well, I can teach you how to fly one. I’m kidding!” John exclaimed and raised his hands defensively when Anna May gave him a face of terror, “We’re just going to fly over Hope County today, I promise.”

John had walked over to the other plane and began to climb on inside. Anna May followed him, taking a seat behind him until they were back to back. She saw her end had a huge gun on in.

“I don’t think this is legal, John,” she said, pointing out the gun when he turned to see what she was talking about.

“Oh, that doesn’t work,” he said. Anna May didn’t believe him, “and I have a license for it anyway.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re asking a lawyer if he’s following the law?”

“Lawyers and officers can still get arrested, John. We’re not above the law,” Anna May said. John began to flip some switches behind her.

“Well, I’m not asking you to use it, I don’t have anything loaded in it, because it’s broken,” he said. The plane’s propeller began to move and Anna May gripped the edge of her seat as she felt them rolling backwards.

Or, well, forwards, John was sitting in the front, after all. He steered the plane towards the runway before they began to pick up speed. Anna May felt her heart jump to her throat as the plane lifted off the ground, and soon they were in the air, gaining altitude as they began to climb.

“I-I don’t like this!” Anna May said, her eyes closed tightly as John made a turn.

“Are you kidding me, this is great! Take a look out the window, Anna May, you’ll be able to see the Henbane from here!”

She really really didn’t want to and was more tempted to tell John to eat a sock, but what was she going to do, jump out the window? She kept her eyes closed until she finally slowly opened one. They both shot open when she saw the amazing view below.

John had taken them over the Holland Valley, the farmlands each appearing like squares moved away below them. The clouds looked so much closer up here, and every few moments, Anna May can see the wisp of a low floating one pass them by. The Whitetails, still so distant, showed ever so clearly from where they were, and he was right about the Henbane, as Anna May saw she could see the whole river snake around the distant hills and cliffs.

“This is beautiful,” she said in wonder, then looked down and quickly scooter herself away from the side of the plane, “Uh, how long exactly are we staying up here?” 

“Just for a while. I like being up here, it reminds me of what’s to come and to focus only on what’s important.”

“What is important to you ?” Anna May asked. John didn’t reply.

Anna May looked out the window again. He was right, Anna May would of never have seen Hope County like this. Maybe flying wasn’t as bad as she imagined, too bad it involved being hundreds of feet in the air with the high possibility of falling and crashing and exploding-

At this thought the plane started to dive and Anna May screamed. John, however, was laughing.

“WE’RE FALLING! WE’RE GOING TO DIE!” She screamed, then the plane tilted upwards, and they were zooming back up into the air, then quickly falling down again, backwards. Anna May realized that they were not dying, John was purposely doing some maneuvers in the air.

“I- I want to get down!” Anna May yelled as they started to spin.

“Already? But I was just having fun!” John yelled back.

“No, really, get me the hell off this thing, John!”

“Alright, fine. Going down!”

And he dived again, this time steeper and faster than before. Anna May HATED this, her back to John, not being able to see anything besides what’s in front and beside her. It may have been a good thing, that means Anna May couldn’t see the quickly approaching ground. Anna May squeezed her eyes shut and kept them that way until she felt the plane level out. She opened them, seeing that they were now much closer to the ground, and within minutes, gently landed on John’s airfield. He certainly was one hell of a pilot, she guessed, but she would rather climb up Raptor Peak and kick an eagles nest than get on another plane with John again.

Anna May scrambled off the moment John stopped the plane, almost falling off the plane’s wing as she climbed down. John laughed as he followed her, watching Anna May get as far away from the plane as she could. A few Peggie’s have come by and watched John and Anna May’s arrival.

“That- That was-“ Anna May stuttered out.

“Great?” John suggested. Anna May nodded then quickly shook her head.

“Scary more like it!”

“But you did have fun, right?”

“Until you tried crashing the plane!”

“I wasn’t going to crash the plane,” John said, waving a hand dismissively.

“Do you even have a license to fly that?”

“Why? Are you going to arrest me?” John smirked.

“I should.”

“Well don’t worry your pretty head, I do got one.”

Anna May gave a big frown. “I’m gonna get you back for that one day, John Seed,” she said.

John gave a smirk before he walked past her. “I’d like to see you try.”

———————

“So where is this friend of yours?” Dolly asked. Anna May looked around the side of the hanger, hoping she’ll maybe see John walking by any moment.

“I don’t know,” Anna May said, concerned, “I invited him to Nick’s party and he seemed interested. You don’t think he’s bailing on me?”

“He could be late, and I’m here. We can have fun by ourselves,” Dolly said, gently.

The two of them were hanging around a large group of people over at Rye and Sons. Nick Rye threw parties at the airstrip every once and a while. Anna May wasn’t so sure why, but then again, she didn’t really know Nick Rye well. She sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. It was finally growing long enough for it to get in the way, and she was ecstatic about that. She can’t wait for it to grow long enough for a ponytail.

Dolly tapped Anna May’s shoulder, pointing at some new arrivals.

“There he is,” she said, pointing to John, who had come accompanied by a couple of Peggie’s. John looked around the crowd and spotted Anna May, heading straight to her.

“Anna May!” He said, and she went and gave him a hug.

“Hey John, here’s Someone I want you to meet!” Anna May said, pulling back, “This is my roommate, Dolly.”

“Dolly,” John said, eyes widening as he faced her, “I’ve heard a lot about you from Anna May.”

“She talks a lot about you too,” Dolly said, nodding at John.

Anna May beamed. Dolly has been asking her for weeks now when she’ll finally get to meet the one and only John Seed himself. Anna May had been wanting to get her two best friends to meet up, but they’ve never had the time, and the few lucky times Anna May was able to get Dolly to wait in the cafe with her for John were, of course, the times John decided he didn’t want to come down to Falls End.

“I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” Dolly said.

“Now why would I want to do that?” John asked.

“I’ll be back,” Anna May said, “I’m going to get something to drink.” Dolly nodded, not keeping her eyes off John’s face as they continued to chat, Dolly was now talking about all the times the two have waited for John together.

Anna May walked off, squeezing between groups of people until she made it to the punch bowl. Taking a cup and adding a large ladle of punch, Anna May turned around and gazed around at the party around her. She was starting to become more comfortable at social gatherings, she doesn’t know if it was because she’s been around John and his Peggie’s more or if maybe she was just becoming more of a people person, but Anna May was having fun regardless.

She spotted a couple of people she knew nearby.

“Hey!” Anna May called, and Dahlia, Cody, And Jenna turned and waved back.

“Hey,” Jenna said, taking a sip of the beer she was holding in her hand. She seemed a little more tense than her companions did, standing a little farther away from the nearby crowd, like she didn’t want to be drawn into it.

“Great party, right?” Cody asked. She was wearing shorts and a jacket, an odd choice considering the summer heat, and was leaning against a nearby barrel.

“Yeah, I got here with Dolly about half an hour ago? How long have you guys been here, I didn’t see any of you arrive.”

“I got here when the party first started,” Dahlia said, “Cody got here before me.”

“I passed by you and Dolly earlier,” Jenna said, “Were you waiting for someone?”

“John Seed,” Anna May said. Dahlia tilted her head to the side slightly then nodded.

“I keep forgetting you’re friends with him,” Dahlia said.

“Lots of people seem to,” Anna May said. Why should they remember, it’s not like the 2 spend all their time walking around town together. They’re just coffee shop buddies.

“What about Dolly?” Cody asked. She scooted closer to Anna May, almost having her and Dahlia into a half huddle. Jenna moved closer to the group.

“Uh, she’s with him right now, actually,” Anna May said, “I was gonna meet back up with them after grabbing some punch...”

“Well, we will see you later then,” Dahlia said. Cody gave a huge grin and a wave goodbye. Anna May left the group and walked off to where she had waited for John at with Dolly only to find the two of them gone. Confused, Anna May looked around and sighed, relieved, when she spotted them. They were farther off from the main group of party guests then Dahlia, Cody, and Jenna were earlier.

The two had moved off to the other side of the hanger, laughing at something Dolly had said. None of the peggies John had arrived with were with them, it was just the two of them, alone. Anna May raised an eyebrow as she walked towards them.

“Anna May!” Dolly giggled as Anna May approached.

“Hey, you two gave me a scare, I thought you were gonna leave me here,” Anna May said. John bowed his head apologetically.

“We wanted to get out of the way,” He explained.

“No worries,” Anna May replied. She turned to Dolly. “Dahlia, Cody, and Jenna are here too,” she told her. Dolly gasped.

“I have to find them and say hi!” she exclaimed, and she turned to John.

“It really was nice to meet you,” she said.

“The pleasure has all been mine,” he said. Dolly gave him a warm smile and, if Anna May’s eyes were not deceiving her, she could of sworn John Seed had actually turned a slight shade of pink.

Dolly ran off and John gave a small sigh.

“She’s single, you know,” Anna May said. John looked over at her.

“I don’t know what you are implying, Anna May,” John said.

“It’s just a thought,” Anna May said as John rolled his eyes at her and looked out over into the crowd of people Dolly had disappeared into.

—————

“Oh my God, Dolly!? Really!?”

“Keep your voice down!” John hissed, turning a slight pink as he bent down. The two had their heads close together, whispering to themselves in the small cafe. Behind the counter, the 3 baristas, all looking bored at the slow shop, watched curiously at John and Anna May’s conversation.

“Yes, it’s Dolly,” he said, covering the side of his face with his hand, preventing the baristas from seeing what he was saying.

“Go for it,” Anna May said immediately. John placed his hand down with a thunk on the table.

“Absolutely not! I can’t just “go for it.” What if I make a fool of myself!” John said angrily. Anna May gave a snort.

“The handsome and stunning John Seed, scared to ask out Anna May’s dear roommate,” Anna May said dramatically. John scoffed.

“Have that kind of attitude when you finally ask Deputy Hudson out,” he said, bitterly, causing Anna May to choke.

“I don’t-have a crush on Joey!” She sputtered. John smirked.

“Oh really? Then how come everytime I merely mention her, you get all flustered?” He asked.

“I don’t get flustered!” Anna May said loudly. John suddenly became interested in something behind Anna May. She heard the door open.

“Hello, Deputy Hudson!” He exclaimed, and started to laugh as Anna May quickly turned to face a poor confused man in overalls. John waved him off and the man approached the counter, occasionally giving the two of them a weird glance.

“You can be a prick!” Anna May said, her face burning up. John was still giggling.

“I guess you don’t want to know what Dolly thinks about you then,” Anna May said, causing John’s laughter to end abruptly.

“I’m sorry,” he said, almost meekly. Anna May laughed and leaned in close again, dropping her voice to a whisper.

“If you really want to know,” she began, “I say she has looked at you enough times that she’s taking a fancy.”

“And how would you know?”

“She talks about you enough, she thinks you’re cute. Must be the beard,” Anna May said. She smirked when John reached up to touch it. “You should try asking her out.”

“I wouldn’t- that would be improper,” John said. Anna May snorted.

“What? Can’t date women in Eden’s Gate? Or are you the kind of religious groups who have the hardcore “no fortification until marriage” kind of rules?” Anna May asked, making John turn a darker shade of red.

“NO,” he said, “It’s just, I barely know her and she certainly doesn’t know me, what if she thinks- you got to be careful with these things Anna May!”

“Dude, I’m telling you the truth, she likes you,” Anna May insisted, “Besides, you might want to get a move on it sooner or later, I heard Pratt wants to ask her out too.”

John has started to take another sip of his latte and choked, coughing horribly as he repeated slapped his chest.

“Who-?” He finally choked out.

“Staci Pratt, you know, one of Dolly’s co-workers,” Anna May replied as John continued to cough, “He told Hudson and she told me.”

“I didn’t- he hasn’t-”

“Asked her out yet? No, not yet. Might want to get a move on,” she added in a sing song voice, “You’re gonna miss your chance.”

John gave a few more small coughs before he stopped, looking out the window at the street. One of the baristas, a tall young boy, was handing the overalled man his order, the older woman and younger girl were still trying not to make it obvious that they were listening into John and Anna Mya’s conversation. Maybe Anna May should ask John if Eden’s Gate had a way to stop nosey people from eavesdropping into their conversations.

“I don’t know how to,” John admitted.

“Well, lucky for you, you are friends with Dolly’s favorite, and only, roommate,” Anna May said. John looked up at her, pleadingly.

“So you’ll help me?” he asked, thankfully.

“Of course I will,” Anna May said, “trust me, dude, there's no one else she’d rather have ask her out in all of Hope County.

 

——————

Anna May was listening to music when John came in. The baristas have learned to pretend to pay no mind, but Anna May would always notice them, looking over a second longer than any normal person would. She figured that the two of them do this on such a regular basis, they’d stop watching them by now. It might be because John is handsome, but sadly for them, he’s taken, she should know, she’s room mates with his girlfriend.

John didn’t stop to talk to the baristas this time, instead he went straight up to Anna May, already ready to go.

“So what did you want to show me today?” He asked as they left, the two walking down Falls End to where Anna May had parked her car. He scrunched his nose when they came up to Anna May’s colorful, and finally finished, creation, but didn’t say anything about Cynthia as they got in.

“I was thinking, for today, we’d go on a drive,” Anna May said, as the car turned onto the road, “You remember how you took me flying and mentioned it was one of your favorite things to do?”

“You also yelled at me for bringing you along.”

“I hate heights!”

“You had fun.”

“Normal people don’t do barrel rolls hundreds of feet in the air with people who are scared of falling, John! Anyway, I was thinking and I figured, why not show you one of my favorite places in Hope County.”

“Where can we possibly be going?” John asked, looking out to watch the farms pass around them.

“You’ll see,” Anna May said, and kept driving northeast. They continued for almost half an hour chatting like until they came onto a long, single laned road. Just as John began asking again where this place is, Anna May suddenly veered right into the forest.

“Whoa! Anna May!” John yelled, and Anna May laughed as branches hit the cars windshield. She was enjoying this, but she was also focused, making sure to keep the car in between areas she can drive through. John continued to yell for explanations and maybe had tried to open the door once, before Anna May drove so close to a tree, John had to jump back and scooted as far from the door as he could.

The car reached a dirt path that Anna May started to follow. John had quieted his yelps by then and was breathing heavily, a hand on his chest. Anna May looked at him briefly and laughed.

“Are you having fun!?”

“You’re a maniac! Are you trying to get us killed!?” 

“It’s like flying a plane, but on the ground!”

“Normal people don’t drive through the woods like a mad man!”

Anna May got to the top of the hill and stopped the car, pulling down the emergency break to prevent the car from moving backwards. Immediately, John got out of the car, but in his hurry, fell over. Anna May got out as he was picking himself up, brushing the front of his trench coat off as he waited for Anna May.

“So,” he started, “what exactly did you wanted to show me that gave you enough reason to try to kill the both of us just now?”

“I wanted to show you this view,” Anna May said. John looked out over through the Whitetails.

The mountains were bathed in a warm golden glow around the two of them. The fields below them were a luscious green, reflecting the sunlight shining on them nicely. Falls End was so far away, only a group of building shape specks signified where the town was to John and Anna May. 

“This is… a sight,” John said, breathless.

“Still Eden’s Garden?” Anna May joked, which John didn’t reply to. The two of them leaned back on the trunk and watched as it ever so slowly got darker.

“The first time I came up here, I was hiking,” Anna May said. John stopped looking at the view to pay attention, “I never thought something this beautiful could exist in real life.”

“Even more beautiful than Deputy Hudson?” John teased, and Anna May elbowed him in the ribs.

“That was before I met her!” Anna May said, trying to sound annoyed, “but really, this became my favorite place to come to when I just needed time to get away from… everything.”

“It’s a special place,” John agreed. 

“Never had much of those back where I lived,” Anna May said, “I never had anything like this when I was a kid. I’m glad I have something now that I can share with people.”

“You know, you do mention your childhood a lot,” John said, “ but you never actually talk about it.”

“I don’t?” It wasn’t much of a question, as she knew John could tell, but she never really knew where to begin when it came to just, opening up about it. She thinks there’s probably a lot of places for her to start, but she doesn’t know if she could do any of it justice.

“It was Ok,” she said. John raised an eyebrow. “It was!” She insisted

“You make it sound like you were deprived of a lot of things,” John said, watching her with curious eyes.

“My parents wanted what was best for me,” Anna May said, “took me a short amount of time to realize they wanted a successful kid, and I wanted to be just that for them. Most kids were outside playing or watching TV, typical children stuff, meanwhile, I was inside reading and studying. I learned algebra in the 3rd grade and was quoting Shakespeare in the 5th,” Anna May looked back over at the view, “I wanted to be that perfect kid for them, you know. Mom and Dad were not the most… affectionate of people, but they were always happy with my good work, so I did my best. Of course, I was always awkward and I got nervous easily, they didn’t like that I had no “serious personality” and told me to man up. I don’t really know exactly what they wanted me to do, but I always got in trouble for not behaving how they wanted me to.”

Anna May laughed but John didn’t. There was something about his demeanor that was different, Anna May noticed when she looked over at him. He had stopped watching her but he wasn’t looking at the landscape before them, instead, it seemed like he was lost in his own thoughts. 

“What about your brothers?” He asked, interrupting her silence.

“Oh! Um, well, Axel-Ray was born first then Shaun, Crusty is just a nickname me and Axel called him as kids, but they never seemed to pay more attention to them than me. They were more lenient with anything they did and they were allowed to get away with more than me.”

“So they played favoritism?” John asked. Anna May shook her head.

“No, it wasn’t that. It’s not that they were treated better, I said my parents were not the most affectionate people, it’s more of… like my parents had a magnifying glass on me and only me. Where my brothers could get away with being loud and awkward and playing with other kids their age, they’ve never received the same encouragements that I did, to always do good and to make them happy.”

Anna May waved her arms in some gesture, as if doing that would explain what she really meant.

“I never really thought any of it until I got older and, yeah, maybe I might of felt jealous at one point, they got to act as normal kids and I had to give my childhood up to become what my parents wanted to be. It wasn’t fair, but it wasn’t their fault and I don’t blame my brothers for it. They hated not acting like normal siblings, getting on each other’s nerves or driving out of town to go out and do things our mom would scream at us for doing. I wanted that as much as they did, but I couldn’t do it, I had to be an example.”

Anna May laughed again and rubbed her eyes.

“It was really hard, you know, having everyone watching you all the time. Do you ever feel like that, in Eden’s Gate?”

“No, I’m not fond of being on a pedestal anyway, that’s why I prefer my more modest role in the Project,” John said. He hasn’t moved much since the last time Anna May had looked at him. He almost looked unwell.

“Are you alright?” She asked, concerned. He shook his head and seemed to have snapped out of it.

“Yes, of course,” he asked, “I’m just concerned for you is all.”

“I’m fine, really! This is just some… difficult stuff to talk about. I can stop-“

“No it’s fine, keep going. These things are hard to open up to, but once you reveal what they are and why we had to go through them, it makes it easier to understand why our struggles were necessary. The past prepares us for what is to come.”

Anna May didn’t know what he meant. He’s always saying cryptic shit like this, but it must of made some sense to him. 

“They never hit me or my brothers. If anything, they just yelled a lot. After a while, you tone it out, but they were so,” Anna May had to think for a word for a second, “Deperative, I think that’s the word. It felt more like we were strangers living in someone’s house than a real family and it didn’t make sense to any of my friends when I try to explain it, I doubt it makes much sense now. But that was my life, up until I graduated high school. I got accepted into a good university, full ride scholarship, my parents were absolutely thrilled. They encouraged me to become a lawyer or a doctor or, hell, maybe I can make my way up to being the president. So I went, for a year, and I hated every moment of it. The people there were so NORMAL and I felt out of place with it all. I stayed in my dorm all the time and only left for classes, it was like being a rat in a cage. I wanted out.”

Anna May turned away from John. It was night time now, the town of Falls End glowed softly around the smaller lights of surrounding buildings in Hope County. Anna May located the other bright glow of the Eden’s Gate compound and continued to talk.

“I ended up dropping out and when I came home, my parents were absolutely furious, so, to throw them off my back, I joined the police academy. It seemed to have pleased them enough, and I ended up loving the job.”

“So then what happened?”

“I came out to them,” Anna May said, and she gave John a sad smile, “You would of thought, your child, who you’ve been taking care of your whole life, who has don’t nothing to please you and was trying to become something for them to be proud of, you would want to support them, but that wasn’t well enough for my parents. The moment I decided to be who I am, not what they wanted me to be, it broke whatever fragile relationship I had with them. They said I was a failure, using my own drop out, awkwardness, anything, against me, told me God hated me, said all sorts of horrible things no child should of ever heard come out of their parents mouth.”

Anna May gave a bitter laugh, a tear streaked down her cheek as she did.

“So I left, was homeless until I graduated, then moved here, and haven’t spoken to my parents since. I keep in contact with my brothers. They’ve been causing chaos with my parents since I left, they want nothing to do with each other anymore.”

Anna May smiled sadly. “I miss them, so much. You know, I spent a while being sad about it, I still am, but I don’t think I hate them, I mean, they were not bad people.”

“They kicked you out for being you,” John said.

“Well, Yeah-“

“There is something incredibly wrong with that.”

“I know-“

“How can you have no quarrel with them then?”

“Cause they’re my family-“

“And is that a good enough of an excuse to forgive them for all the pain they’ve caused you for all these years?”

“Well, Yeah, shouldn’t it be?” She asked.

John looked like he wanted to argue further with her but shook his head, “If it makes you happy,” he said, clearly unhappy with her response. They sat there, in silence for a while, as Anna May kept thinking of what he said.

No, it didn’t make her happy, in fact, she was still pretty damn miserable. Her life wasn’t bad, she thought, in fact, it’s been amazing since she moved to Hope County, compared to what she left behind, but she was still… sad. Her therapist said it was depression, Anna May didn’t need someone to tell her that, but still, she figured that after a while, those feelings of hurt and misery she felt when she first left her home, maybe they would fade away, but they’re not gone, not entirely.

Could she even forgive them? Anna May tried to think of anything that would of made anything they did redeemable in her eyes, but came up with nothing. All those praises, all those encouragements, they were never as rewarding as her parents thought they were. It all was something they wanted, not her, and now she is on her own, learning how to be herself and the worst part about it is she barely even knows who she is now because she’s spent all those years living as someone else.

The realization hit her like a truck and all of a sudden Anna May felt something like an animal jump inside her, something that wanted to scream and shout, to ask why and curse everything that has led up to this moment. She had spent so long trying to please people to be what they wanted, wasn’t that enough for her to earn anything in return? Why would the people she thought had loved her would turn on her so suddenly just because she chose to start being how she, Anna May, wanted to be. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right.

John seemed to have noticed this change in Anna May. “I’ll drive us back,” he said. Anna May nodded, not saying anything as she climbed into the passenger side of her car. 

John drove the two of them down the dirt path, not cutting into the forest this time. It took an hour for John to make their way back to Holland Valley, driving the car up the slope past his hand made “Yes” sign and up to the ranch’s entrance. The two got out of the car and Anna May switched back to the driver's seat, letting John leave in silence until she finally called him back.

“Why did you want to be friends with me?” Anna May asked him. He gave her a smile and raised an eyebrow.

“I thought it was obvious,” was all he said and walked through the door into his ranch, leaving Anna May alone again.

——————

Anna May tapped her foot repeatedly, staring out the window as she waited, hoping, for John to come in. It’s been a couple weeks since she last saw him and she was getting…

Worried wasn’t the right word for it. Anna May was mad. Beyond pissed, in fact. Her hand shook slightly as she waited for John to come through the door, hopefully this time her wait won’t be fruitless.

Kidnappings. Torture. Forced baptisms. Those were only a few rumors she heard about Eden’s Gate, rumors she heard briefly in previous years, but they’ve been getting worse, a lot worse. Anna May shut her eyes tight and opened them, hoping something around her would change, but she’s in the bleak cafe as before, waiting for a John Seed who may never walk in.

And why would he, after what she heard he has done this time? Anna May didn’t think it was unusual for John not to say anything for so long at a time, until she walked by the church just last week and saw Mary May and Pastor Jerome talking to Sheriff Whitehorse. 

They said Mary May’s brother died from a heart attack. A young, strong man, younger than Mary May, and she adored him greatly. She had went up to the compound to get him, just as her father did before his accident, but it seemed fruitless for her too.

Anna May might of believed the story of it wasn’t for any of the nastier things she’s been hearing about. Things about how John Seed and the Peggie’s that follow him chased Mary May as she tried to get to the compound, how the Spread Eagle was closed for days because she couldn’t be found. Some farmers getting roughened up by Peggie’s as they were looking for someone. 

Even more so worrying was his sister, Faith. Anna May had visited the Henbane River a month ago and ran into some of the Peggie’s, them all acting a little more hostile than usual, until a small, brown haired woman came and calmed them down. Anna May asked John who that was and he told her it was Faith.

“But, Faith was taller, and I swore she had blond hair…”

“You haven’t seen my little sister in years, Anna May. She always looked like that.”

Anna May might of believed him then, she doesn’t think she could now.

The bell to the cafe rang and, miraculously, John stepped in. He looked exhausted, but still smiled at the three baristas. The older woman smiled and nodded back while the other two huddled to the side to talk to each other, shooting glares at John. He ignored them and proceeded to order his drink before sitting down across from Anna May.

“Sorry for being absent so long,” he said, his voice not matching any of the cheerfulness on his face, “I had a busy week.”

“I heard,” Anna May said. She crossed her arms and leaned forward, “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean?” John said, calmly.

“What exactly happened with Mary May is what!” Anna May said loudly, causing the patrons in the cafe to stare. John didn’t look at their new audience.

“Drew died,” John said, “A real shame. He was a devoted follower of ours.”

“Yes, but how did he die?”

“Did Mary May not tell you?”

“She said it was a heart attack, but I’m having trouble believing that,” Anna May said, watching John intently.

John laughed into his drink.

“Was she lying?” Anna May asked.

“It’s whatever Mary May says it is,” John said.

“You didn’t kill him, did you John,” Anna May asked.

“Of course I did not! We don’t kill members of our flock!”

“And what about those outside them?” Anna May asked.

“Is there something you’re trying to get me to confess to?” John asked, all traces of feigned calmness gone from his voice. His eyes seemed to pierce through Anna May.

“I’m trying to figure out what the fuck your group is doing!” Anna May yelled, “I’ve been hearing things, John, things about you kidnapping and threatening and- and- and you forcing people to do some sick atonement, and you don’t bother telling me jack shit!”

This seemed to have pissed John off. He leaned in close towards Anna May until they were almost nose to nose.

“I don’t know exactly what rumors you have been hearing,” John said, “but whatever happens in my family is only me and my families business. If any of these so called rumors were true, how come the police have not come yet? How come I’m not in prison awaiting a sentence for a murder I never did? You chose to believe the lies of those around you who like to mock us, call us a cult when they think we’re not looking and slander my brothers name in any way they can? Over me, the one person who has been nothing but kind and honest to you?”

“Honest,” Anna May said in disbelief, “You have been lying and keeping secrets from me since the day we met!”

“Everything I have not told you,” John said, raising his voice, “Is only between me, my family, and the rest of Eden’s Gate. Something I have made clear since we met. It is not my job to give you every little detail of my personal life because a few corrupted people decided it would be funny to spread their lies and hate to everyone around them!”

“You are really strung up on your fucking cult, are you!” Anna May yelled, standing up. John stood up with her, the drink gripped tightly in his hand. “I don’t care what personal shit you have with your family, if people are getting hurt then I should fucking know, I’m suppose to be an officer for Christ’s sake!”

“You’re doing an awful job at acting like one!” John retorted. Ouch, Anna May balled her fists.

“You better get the hell out of here, John,” she said, her voice practically shaking with rage, “NOW.”

John tossed his almost still full drink into a nearby bin and, without another word, turned and stormed out. Anna May gave a few shaky breaths before she realized she still had an audience. Grabbing her drink, Anna May practically ran out the door and to her car, waiting until she was inside before finally starting to bawl.

——————

Anna May opened the door to her and Dolly’s apartment, sighing. Today was rough, first she got a couple of drunk people trying to open the door to Cheeseburgers pen, then she has to deal with more lettered threats from Jacob Seed. She doesn’t know how the FANG center does it, the man was absolutely terrifying.

Anna May walked through the hall and into the kitchen, surprised to find Dolly sitting there, alone.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be home so-“ Anna May stopped talking when she saw Dolly’s face. Her tears streaked with mascara and eyeliner were drawing black trails down her face as she cried. There were used cigarettes littering the table, causing Anna May to wrinkle her nose at the bad smell. Dolly had a couple more in one hand, seeming to let 2 of them burn as she took a drag from the 3rd.

“What happened?” Anna May asked as Dolly looked up at her with red eyes. She quickly sat down next to her, putting a hand on her roommates shoulder. Dolly took a shaky breath.

“Me and John broke off the engagement,” she said, letting out a soft sob as she said it.

“What, Why?” Anna May asked, almost ready to drive off to John’s ranch and strangle him.

Her argument with him was, God, she didn’t know. Maybe a couple weeks ago? Time seemed to have passed so slowly yet quickly at the same time. Anna May hasn’t heard from him or even seen him since then. One of the 3 baristas hasn’t shown up either, but Anna May is certain that she may been a member of Eden’s Gate as well. How many people was that now, she didn’t know, but she did know that John doesn’t want to see her as much as she doesn’t want to see him, but their argument had nothing to do with him or Dolly and despite everything that happened between him and Anna May, she didn’t want to ruin her roommates happiness, even if Anna May isn’t fond of the groom anymore.

“It’s like what you said,” Dolly said,rasing the cigarette to her mouth, “he’s a liar. After what you told me, I went to talk to him.”

“Oh,” Anna May said. Dolly took another shaky breath.

“He didn’t want to explain anything and even accused me of playing favorites for siding with you over him. I ended up getting mad and-“ Dolly gave another sob and went to take another drag from one of the lit cigarettes, coughing afterwards. Anna May gently took the other two from her hand, putting them out in a nearby ashtray.

“I broke it off,” Dolly said, when she was finished, “Not if things were going to be like that. I don’t want to be second guessing everything in our relationship. Not after… and the things he said about you-“

Anna May winced, but stayed silent. Dolly had stopped talking too and just sat there, looking so sad and miserable. Anna May hated seeing her like this. She patted Dolly’s back and Dolly gave another sob, a fresh tear slowly traveling down the trail of smudged makeup.

“How about,” Anna May began, “we go out of town, just for a few days, the two of us, your pick. Take time off work, we can take Cynthia and do a small road trip, get our minds off things, what do you say?”

Dolly just looked blankly at her. Anna May was beginning to think she may have said the wrong thing before Dolly wiped her eyes with one hand and gave a loud sniff.

“Yeah, Yeah I would like that,” Dolly gave Anna May a small, sad, smile. Anna May leaned and gave Dolly a hug, and the two of them sat there like that as Dolly’s last cigarette slowly burnt itself out.

 

——————

 

Anna May drove up to John’s ranch quickly and stopped the car, screeching to a halt just in front of the stairs. 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Dep? Sharky had asked at the Hope County Prison, concern on his face as she rolled down the window to her car.

“No, I really don’t, but what choice do I have,” Anna May had said, “John Seed is the only person who I may get some kind of coherent reason to what the hell exactly is going on, I may as well see if he’s willing to talk.”

“I don’t know Dep, John Seed, he sounds like he’s got a screw or two loose,” Sharky scratched the back of his head.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll be back soon. Help out the sheriff while I’m gone, will ya?.”

“Ok, just don’t be long. I don’t like prisons,” Sharky replied, and Anna May had drove off, probably breaking the law as she speed down the road getting to John’s place. She didn’t really care, that didn’t matter, not with everything Eden’s Gate was doing.

Not after what John was doing.

Anna May stepped out of the car when she reached John’s home, shocked and curious Peggie’s already coming from the hanger to watch Anna May storm up the stairs to the ranch.

“Hey, sinner, you can’t go in there! Hey!”

Anna May slammed open the door and walked into the lounge area, taking a turn around the fireplace until she was at the large dining table that took up half the room. John was sitting there, home again as she had hoped, and was talking to a black haired Peggie who Anna May has never met before. The two noticed her arrival, John watched her, giving that wide grin he always wore when something he wanted happen.

“Ah, Deputy!” He exclaimed, standing up.

“You’re a real piece of shit, John Seed, you know that?” Anna May started as the Peggie’s began to rush into the room. Some of them raised their weapons when they saw Anna May, but before any of them said anything, John waved his hand, gesturing to them to lower their guns.

“Now now, there’s no need for us to be rude to my friend now, is there?” He said. He still had that stupid creepy grin, infuriating Anna May even more.

“Friend? What do you mean, YOUR friend?” Anna May said, “First your damn cult attacked me and my friends, then I find out you took Hudson and have her tied up somewhere! What the absolute hell are you fucking doing, John?”

“I’m doing what I’ve always been doing,” John said, innocently, “I’ve been helping people reach salvation, to bring their sins to light so they can see what wrongs they have been doing, and to help them see the words of the Father and to atone, so they may join us at the Gates of Eden, the same Gates that you can reach with us too, Deputy.”

“Where is Joey?” Anna May looked around as if she might be able to see Hudson, sitting in the room, tied up like she was on John’s sick commercial.

“Not here, I’m afraid,” John said, “but she’s safe. I can take you to her, you know. All you need to do is say-“

“I’m not agreeing to your sick baptism, John,” Anna May snarled. John’s smile quickly faded.

“Leave us, all of you,” he said to the Peggie’s surrounding them, and they left, the black haired Peggie gently touching his shoulder before she followed the rest of her flock.

“Do you want to know why I sat with you, in that cafe, all those years ago? Do you, Deputy?” John asked. He sat back down and waved Anna May over to sit with him. When she didn’t move, he continued.

“You were scared and lost. People turned a blind eye to you when you begged for help, looking to the world that promised to look out for you, only to receive nothing! You’re surrounded by liars and cheats, false promises and hopes, and you allowed yourself to be harmed by their sins! When Joseph saw you those many years ago, he saw someone desperately in need of salvation, someone who wants to atone but doesn’t have to guidance to know how. I have been a little… slothful, in my duties, been carried away with the normality of our relationship, but those days are done. Joseph has shown me how selfish I have behaved and now, I want to use what he taught me to help you.”

John looked like he was finally about to reveal a huge secret he’s been keeping for a long time. His eyes shown feverently, his fists were clenched on the table in front of him.

“Your soul is tainted, Deputy,” John said, “by the people around you. But I can help you, you can reach atonement and join us. You can be reunited with your dear Hudson and you both can live freely, together, in Eden’s Garden. But I can’t help you unless you renounce your sins, you admit that those you followed have been leading you astray, and you agree to say Yes. Let me help you purify your soul. The Collapse is quickly approaching us and the last thing I want to do is spill blood unnecessarily. Help me help you.”

“You’re a fucking psychopath,” Anna May said. John stood up with a start, but didn’t say anything.

“You think that I’m just going to join your brothers cult because he decides that now the world is going to end?” Anna May asked, “I’m not. You’re hurting people John and no one is going to forget that, no matter how hard you force them to do whatever bat shit crazy thing you want. And I sure as HELL am not going to forget.”

“So that’s it then?” John asked, “You would rather cast your friends lives out, friends who, I should add, have made it very VERY difficult for us to keep alive, then to help them also reach salvation too? Why do you keep fighting me, Deputy?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Anna May said. John looked downright furious, taking a couple of deep breathes to control himself, then he smiled, that twisted smile Anna May May had thought at one point had some kind of humanity behind it, instead, Anna May saw nothing but a monster in front of her.

“Very well,” he finally said, “Go then, I’ll let you leave, as a sign of good faith from me, but you must think long and hard about what you’re going to do, because if you go through with this, you let your sin drive you to do harm to my family, then I will not hesitate to bring my forces down on yours. You will not know peace from me, nor will you have my mercy. Remember that, when you’re on the ground dying, forsaken by those you call “friend”, I have given you the opportunity to atone right now, without repercussions, but you refused it. Now, get out of my home before I change my mind.”

Anna May didn’t need to be told twice. She headed to the door, leaving an angry John Seed to fume in silence.

———————

Mary May ripped off the boards covering the cafe door and opened, the bell on the door was long gone but the rest of the cafe looked the same as ever.

“John Seed bought this place out years ago. Had it closed down and it’s been abandoned since,” Mary May told Anna May as they walked into the small store.

“I figure he was the one that did that,” Anna May said. John was petty like that.

“I still can’t believe you were ever friends with that guy,” Mary May continued. Anna May didn’t reply. She held two coffee cups in her hands and walked over to the table by the window. Their spot. She placed the coffee cups down on it, one in front of each of the two chairs pulled there.

“He’s going to come after you, you know that, Deputy,” Mary May said as she watched.

“I do, but I’ll be ready for him.”

“I hope you will,” Mary May paused, “I know you thought you were close, but John is very good at tricking people like that.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re going to stop him,” Anna May said. She looked out the window to the rest of Falls End where everyone was cleaning up the town. The Peggie’s has almost took it this time, they’ll be back to try to take it again.

She’s going to have to fight back, as much as it hurts. Anna May still cares about John, deep down, she really did, but he’s going to far. John Seed has been terrorizing Holland Valley, just as his siblings have been laying waste to the rest of Hope County, and she can’t sit by this time and let it happen.

Anna May gave a deep breath before turning to Mary May.

“Let’s go see if Pastor Jerome needs our help,” she said, and the two left, leaving the two coffee cups to sit in the fading light.


End file.
